7:03 p.m. - 2004-07-15
Let's call this entry \"Too shy to survive.\"
I went to Dagorhir (after the long search for the park where they were practicing) practice tonight. I've never felt so unwelcome. I mean there I was sitting in a pavillion with a bunch of gamer-types... people I should get along with, and noone said a word to me. I've felt more welcome at hip-hop clubs. (atleast there I can numb the loneliness with liquor) To make it even worse I was sitting no more than two feet from the person who invited me to the practice, while she read a book.
Tonight I should be going to the Platinum Horse Cabaret for a VIP party. So I'll get to look at beautiful examples of what I can never have. I think I've finally figured out what I've meant by "I just want something I can never have." I can never have a meaningful relationship with an inteligent, attractive woman.
I'm too shy to function in society... which makes me loathe society... does that make me a sociopath?
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