5:41 a.m. - 2004-08-05
From Hitchhiker deja vu to my sad mental state
The guy I drove to Arlington Plaza the other day is named Dave. I know because he was walking again when I left Nick's house. So 'naturally' I offered him a ride.
On my way to Chris's house I stopped at Wendy's to get some food. I saw Tom there and joked with him that his son has more hair on his head.
Nick and I had played Lord of the Rings Risk at Chris's house tonight. Chris won the first game as usual. Then something amazing happened, I won the second game. That's my first victory at that version of Risk. We played a game of three player euchre which Nick barely won. We were tied for quite awhile then he took his last point.
After we left Chris's house we picked up Nick's "girlfriend", Theresa. We watched Gungrave. Then I came home to let them do what they do.
As I was leaving Arlington Plaza I had an idea. There are two major people (so far that I can think of) that I can point to and blame for being this messed up in my head. The first one I had an instant spark with, love at first sight. I'm still trying to get her off my mind. The second one I should never have met, but I was stupid and failed to graduate when I should have. She showed me the lighter side to life and opened up my heart again. That I think is what messed me up the most. From what I can remember I was rather uncaring until I met her. Maybe if I continued down that slide into complete asshole status I would feel better right now. I'd never have known happiness so wouldn't feel the pains of disappointment so fiercely. That's the problem though, I can blame them... but I know that it's my fault for getting attached to them that has caused me this mess.
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