2:29 a.m. - 2006-10-07
A dream (not even one of my own either)...
At work tonight, Kyle was telling me about the dream he had last night. It went something along the lines of he, his brothers, and I were going to go somewhere. Suddenly he starts seeing lights that reminded him of Guile's attack from Streetfighter. Following which UFOs appeared. They started zapping people with some weird alien rays [it Hollywood is any indicator they tend to do that]. These rays were melting the skin off people then putting it back. When they tried to zap me, I was immune. [Up until that part of the story I didn't even know that I was featured in his dream. I only heard him say that his brothers were in it.] So everyone started huddling around me. Everyone who was in contact with me was also immune. So we all started moving around as one big group.
My response to his story was never to doubt my powers.
"Man is not merely the sum of his masks. Behind the shifting face of personality is a hard nugget of self, a genetic gift."
Camille Paglia
So starts some reflection on my own this morning:
After last night's forray at the Shiny Pony, I am experiencing a wave of Unsicherheit. Although I felt more comfortable in talking with the girl, I realized at the same time that I was saying nothing that was remotely interesting to her. I did enjoy having her mostly naked body dancing for me, but it was so mechanical. The same moves over and over again. Makes me miss 'Raelynn' the mistress of the night. At least she'd talk to me without expecting me to buy dances. When I did buy dances, she kept them interesting. [What can I say? When she linked her nipple rings together and used her pierced tongue to unhook them, I couldn't help but be intrigued.]
Teresa was right that I'd be interested in last night's girl for her body. However, here I am alone typing this entry instead of going to my bed with a woman. Even if it were only to sleep next to a woman that I am dating. Not even just next to one, but curled up with one. The last girlfriend I had would sleep on the edge of the bed farthest from the wall. There I'd be, trapped between her sleeping form and the wall, not quite ready to sleep. I wanted some affection from my girlfriend instead of the zombie sharing my bed.
The seeds of loneliness grow a bitter harvest indeed.
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