6:12 a.m. - 2010-11-09
Letting it slip...
Ambition, what a wonderful thing to have. Now where to find it?
Things have gone so amazingly well and yet so amazingly blah lately.
I had tried on Independence Day to purge the mementos that had tied me to the past. I had also stated, much to the approval of friends, of my intentions to treat this Halloween as a New Year's celebration of sort, making resolutions and perchance even keeping them, letting the detrius of the previous year go, and finding myself again amidst the role I portray or have assigned to me.
So far, being the obstinate procrastinator that I am, this has yet to manifest in any concrete manner. Which is, I'll say, such a shame. During my lackadaisical interludes of perusing the webverse, I have inadvertently been struck by awe-inspiring periods of such lucid clarity and creativity...that I have channeled into such superfluous constructs as attempting to make my own kitschy little social networking quiz (which failed to save), creating Magic cards of people I have had the pleasure and / or misfortune of associating with, and, also in that vein, helping random others with their Magic deck ideas. Which, although it may seem petty, has actually been one of my highlights lately.
It's not that I seek the approval of others, and it's certainly not what I had set out to do by chiming in with my ideas on a deck, but it certainly brought a smile to my face to see how the deck grew, changed, and evolved with my direct input, as well as the input of others. Now to get more of my deck lists posted so I can further play test them on the site (tappedout.net) without having to proxy in cards that I'd need in the deck.
In addition to my internet fixation, I've also become quite entrenched in television watching again. I should mete out my television / internet / other distractions into a better, somewhat scheduled block of time, to allow for more of what I really ought to be doing. That being working out, learning german, refreshing my working knowledge of all things Psychology to take the GRE and GRE for Psychology, in the event that I do, at some point, decide that I would, indeed, like to pursue graduate school. At this point, however, I strongly doubt that is a direction I would like to take, but it would do me well to get it taken care of now just in case.
Another of these distractions, lately, being Blip.fm could, and really originally, to me anyways, was meant to give the music that pops up in my head a proper venue. Sure, I go through days when I blip like crazy, and days that I just check the block to get my dj level up, but it still doesn't represent quite the breadth of music that permeates my mind on any given day. This tells me that another pursuit I should be following is reacquainting myself with actually playing music. I have two clarinets (which I need to repair / replace a mouthpiece for) and a flute (that I have never learned to play) at my disposal. I'm thinking that I should dust off my clarinet and get used to reading / playing music again, before I attempt to add any new instruments to my repertoire.
Remember folks, life is what you make it. Right now, I've made mine a bit of a mess.
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