4:11 a.m. - 2016-08-23
Le sigh
Only had an open shift at work. Grabbed some essentials at Target, afterwards, like a new phone charger cable. Came home and took a long nap. Woke up and worked out. Went out with Miller for a couple of drinks and then a burger at East Side Cafe/Lamp Post.
Throughout the day a friend was giving me advice on my situation. Says I should put the whole thing on ice until the gal is finally, officially, legally separated from her husband in a divorce. That, I should tell her that I'll be there for her in a heartbeat when it's official, but until then I can't risk getting hurt from her just going back to him. That it's selfish on her part to try to juggle both of us in the meantime.
I know the advice is well-meaning, but I don't think I can do it. I said I'd be there for her. To abandon her when she's only been gone to basic training for a week, today, seems like I was disingenuous, at best, and not cut out for the long haul, at worst. I just don't know.
Anything I would say to defend the situation was met with "that's not your problem" or the equivalent. "She chose him. She chose to stay despite X, Y, Z. If she chooses to leave him for good to be with you, -then- you can be together, not one minute sooner. Keep working on you and your plans so that you can, but do it for you. If she does leave him, all is good. If she doesn't, maybe another 11 will drop into your lap. You get the love you think you deserve."
I'm so numb. Wake me up when December ends.
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